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Verses for Farriers and their Clients ~ John Ford RSS

The relationship between farriers and their clients has improved greatly over the years and every farrier will have a different approach to dealing with their clients. John Ford RSS is an experienced farrier who has operated a successful business in the South West for many years.

John has kindly agreed to share with Forge & Farrier two tongue-in-cheek verses, penned by himself, that he distributes to his clients. The first 'The Rules of Your Farrier' is given to every new customer by John himself which he says 'works a treat'. Whilst very amusing to the reader the verse does have quite serious implications in terms of working terms and conditions - ultimately the goal is to deliver the best possible work in terms of hoofcare...


The Rules of Your Farrier

My rules they are simple for both client and me
And if followed by the letter my service I can guarantee
You book in advance or after the work is done
And ring the day before to find the time I will come
The time you are given is the time I lift the foot
So you had better be early or you will have to re-book
Feet and legs should be clean, with your instructions made clear
So don't leave it till I’ve finished or you will get a thick ear
The horse should stand level on ground that is firm
Which is dry from the rain and away from things that burn
Good light is required from the girth to the ground
Not a sixty watt bulb with cobwebs all around
Hung from the rafters ten foot in the air
So I can’t see the feet that I want to pare
If the horse starts kicking where I may get hurt
I’m a farrier not a hero, so get another berk
I don’t hit horses, I will leave that up to you
But if you want the horse broken, an extra fee will be due
Tea or coffee is welcome for each horse that I shoe
As we farriers dehydrate with the work that we do
I can clean up afterwards if you leave me a brush
But there’s no guarantee if I’m in a rush
When ringing me please do it in the working day
If there is no answer I’ll ring you back anyway
Don’t ask for a booking after the hour of four
Nor on a weekend at my home or forge door
If you pay me after the work is done
When you shout your in trouble, I will come
But if you want to borrow money go to a bank
Or wait till I can afford to put diesel in the tank
These rules are simple I hope you agree
They fit those of you who are busy and definitely me
As it makes me efficient and keeps me on course
For the service you require, that’s shoeing your horse.

The second verse 'Your Farrier Explained' goes some way to offering an explanation if your farrier is perhaps not as jovial as you think he or she should be!

Your Farrier Explained in Verse

Some days I am happy
Some days I am sad
Some days I am grumpy
Some Jack the Lad

Don’t anyone take this as personal
Remember what your paying me for
To shoe your horse close to excellence
So as to keep the vet from your door

You may prefer others who are courteous and kind
Who shoe your horse as if you were blind
Who never return calls or call on the hour
And give one the impression that they are in power

I will give you my rules so the horse gets 100 percent
If your not happy with that, be sure I will be upset
But if you leave me once, forget ringing me again
Your slot will have been taken by someone down the lane

On occasions when faced with a difficult case
The last thing I want is you in my face
As a farriers brain is working things out
So that the finished job, there can be no doubt.

My rules are simple and have worked for years
And if not obeyed, can and do end in tears
Remember your paying for your horse to be shod
By a farrier who needs his mind on the job

Believe me I am a sociable chap
When away from my job and the farriery chat
But when employed by those of you who pay
I will give my all to your horse every day

In the interests of being fair Forge & Farrier are sure that there must some horse owners with a literary talent who would like to respond - please do and forward your verses to us by email!